Jessica Abrams
Some Darkness
I called one of my best friends this morning: "I'm feeling like a complete loser and I want you to talk me out of it." It wasn't even...
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Jessica Abrams
Actress / Standup Comic / Writer
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Jessica Abrams
- Oct 2, 2022
- 3 min
I Want A Boyfriend Who Cooks But I Don't Want Him To Be Snobby About It
I once had a boyfriend who made an excellent penne vodka with frozen langoustines from Trader Joe's, and he wouldn't shut up about it. He...
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Jessica Abrams
- Sep 29, 2022
- 8 min
My Utopia
Today I made an apple lemon cake. I zested four lemons, cored and thinly sliced four apples, mixed the zest and the apples into a batter...
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Jessica Abrams
- Aug 9, 2022
- 5 min
Absolutely Too Fucking Fabulous
These days, watching television can make me suicidal. It used to provide escape from the pressures of life, television did; I could tune...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 21, 2022
- 5 min
Cooking with Julia
August, 2020. I wore two face masks and a head scarf wrapped not once but twice around the lower part of my face to buy oat milk at...
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Jessica Abrams
- Apr 5, 2022
- 4 min
In Search Of
I once knew a woman who claimed that before she met her husband, she made a two-page list of every quality she was looking for in a mate...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 22, 2020
- 4 min
I Am A Baker
I am a baker. There -- I said it. I resisted at first due to a checkered history with self-identifying bakers, those reed-thin women who...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 14, 2020
- 4 min
Tales of a Standup Comic: Bombing in Tucson
I'm sitting in the kitchen of the Airbnb I've called home for the last two nights. The shades are down and the air conditioning is...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 14, 2020
- 4 min
Food That Has Saved Me From Myself
A few years ago when I was visiting a friend in Paris, I went to more than one dinner party where the conversation went something like...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 14, 2020
- 4 min
I Want a Boyfriend But I'm Lazy
I once had a neighbor, an extremely tall nurse who liked to talk and had great style. Above all, she was organized, and it was enjoyable...
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Jessica Abrams
- Jul 14, 2020
- 6 min
How Does Anyone Get Married?
Last night in my acting class, as I was lamenting the shitty job I did on my scene and wondering whether it's still too late to get that...
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